Today was not a good day.
I don't even know why. Nothing remotely interesting happened today. I went tanning, ran, and hung out at home, watched SVU, washed dishes - mundane, normal stuff. But I cried during most of those activities.
And I have no idea why.
It could be because I saw him yesterday, maybe I'm not as okay with it as I thought. But how could that shred my whole day today? Maybe it's because yesterday was his birthday and the fact that I know he will be celebrating tomorrow night at the same bar where we met, where we danced for the first time, where he sang to me and we laughed and drank, and (usually) had fun. I can't help but think that he's probably going to be doing those things with someone else tomorrow night, and he will think nothing of his 'best friend' not even being there.
BFF will get upset with me and say that I can't assume anything, but I KNOW Coach, I know that's what he will be doing. And not being a part of his daily life is still taking a lot of getting used. I guess I'm not quite as far as I was hoping.
One step forward, a million steps back. The facts of life, the facts of life. Sucks today...but not everyday sucks! Honestly when you put all the "maybe's" from this blog together that's sure a lot of "maybe's" to get through after a break up. It made me cringe just reading through them all. And look here we are at Monday and you made it! And not only that, but I hear you had yourself a pretty swell weekend. Another step forward for you!
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Re-reading this post, already feels like a different person wrote it, which is a good sign. I know that I am by no means cured, that I will have good and bad times again, but hopefully not whole bad days. I really think this weekend helped a lot; we had an amazing time, felt like we were in college again, just having fun without a care in the world. And the great thing is, we had a lot of fun, when I felt like I needed to talk about him I did, she's listen and give advice. It really helped me move forward, and I will be blogging about it soon!
ReplyDeleteAWESOMENESS!!
ReplyDelete