Break-Up Rituals

I tried my best to find a clip of the girls actually burning all the items from their exes, but for once YouTube failed me and this is the best I could - them discussing it instead. It's a great episode - not only for this but because Chandler manages to get set up on a blind Valentine's Day date with none other than Janice. Just to be clear, I'm not actually condoning the burning of anything belonging to an ex. I've never done that, nor do I plan to. But seeing Rachel, Monica and Phoebe do it is pretty hilarious - especially when they nearly burn down the building.

I don't have a specific ritual of my own, and maybe it's time I do. I tried to remember what happened when Army Guy and I broke up, but neither BFF or I could really recall. I know there was music-listening of course, but really, I was simply almost never alone; I was always with BFF and/or Macadamia. It didn't help that Army Guy and I were very back and forth, so we'd be apart for a while, then kind of back and then off again. What a mess.

As for the break-up with The Supposed One, it was much of the same, I was never really alone; I hung out with BFF, but also with my former roommate Ball. (I should probably point out here that I met The Supposed One because of Ball; they were good friends from living in the dorms together. The Supposed One was always at our apartment and we started dating.) Anyway, I hung out with Ball and his new roommate General Tso - who I eventually was involved with but as always, that's another story altogether - and that's how I got over it, I was never alone. General Tso also made it easier, that's for sure.

But this time, it hasn't been like that. I've immersed myself in SVU marathons and writing, and haven't really seen my friends. I've talked to them, either texting, or on the phone, or on Facebook, but I haven't really hung out with anyone. I don't know why, really. Maybe because of the up and down of the months with Coach, that I feel like some might just think it's another bump and they shouldn't bother listening because we'll just get back together again. I think it is safe to say that's not going to happen, but on the other hand, I told BFF in April that there was no way I'd get back together with him after what happened, and look how that turned out. I could see why some people might not believe that this time is different. Trust me, it is.

But I digress. The idea of having some kind of ritual or routine to help get through the first couple weeks is pretty important; being right in the middle of it now, I see just how important it is. I've got tissues handy, and have basically been blogging, and watching SVU. I tend to stay away from anything too romantic, and SVU is about as un-romantic as you can get...though I am happy to report that naughty thoughts about Christopher Meloni (Detective Stabler) are ever-present. That's a good sign. Aside from that, I don't have any specific ritual. I just make sure I have someone to talk to (usually BFF, despite his insistence that he has to 'work' while he is at work). We don't talk about Coach, at least not always, but just to be talking to someone is a good distraction. I don't have any particularly comfort foods, I usually tend to lose my appetite, but one thing that always seems to intensify is my need to run. I always tried to run as often as possible, but in times like these, I make it a top priority; sometimes more than once a day. That way, I can feel like I'm running away without actually doing it. (Side note, I saw Coach again today. Maybe I need a new route. Bummer.)

Anyway, I want to also give credit where credit is due. Inspiration for this post comes from a comment Vickie made about her own personal break-up routine in a comment on a previous post I made:

"I have a break up ritual to start off the healing process (besides the 80's music of course) - it involves Chinese take-out and Ben and Jerry's ice cream and watching French Kiss. Doesn't cure me, but it's a start...Doesn't make me feel so alone all curled up with my fave foods and movie, makes me somehow feel loved even if it's by food and a movie. And in the beginning sometimes that's enough."

And really, sometimes it is.

What kind of ritual or routine do you follow to get over a break-up?