A Weekend Getaway

Sometimes just being away for a while helps, as I discovered this weekend. Not running away for weeks or months, but to just have a break from the routine of not having a routine anymore - something I am more than familiar with by now. That was Macadamia's plan. We met halfway between our respective cities and just found adventure that involved history, bars, sculpture gardens, and more history. It was a great distraction, but it was also more than that. I was able to see that I can go out and have fun and not let Coach effect me all the time. It helped to be around someone who didn't know Coach, didn't know anything about our relationship, and to be somewhere that I was not constantly reminded of him or things related to him. When I wanted to talk about him, she listened; sometimes she gave advice, sometimes not. But he was not the focus of the weekend, it was all about me and Macadamia and just having fun. It was just what I needed.

One adventure in particular helped a lot: we ended up at little bar on a main street of a tiny town that had been surrounded by Des Moines as the city grew. We chatted with the bartender; he was cool, we talked football, and he made us some delicious drinks. As the night went on, "Uncle Scotty", as he will be known, says, "I have to run to the bathroom quick, will you two watch the bar and make sure no one goes back there?"

Naturally I asked if I could squirt them with water if they didn't listen, but he said just yelling at them would be sufficient, and if they argued, to say that he was my uncle or something and we were in charge while he was gone. It was an awesome but harrowing couple of minutes, because some of these people were waaaaaaaasted. Luckily, I didn't need to yell at anyone and Uncle Scotty returned quickly.

Not long after, this cute by fairly drunk guy came in. His name was Joe(y)(?), he'd played hockey all over Minnesota, works on an oil rig(?), and frequents that bar. Macadamia and I decided to call it a night around 1:30. Joe shook my hand and told me I was incredibly sexy. Despite his semi-drunken state, this just made me feel good (not to mention, this is the first time ever in the history of our going out that a guy has talked to me instead of Macadamia, I'm serious, she is absolutely beautiful.) Anyway, I told him thank you and I appreciated that. He restated again that I was, in fact, not only 'sexy' but, 'sexy as a mother-fucker'...though I'm not sure exactly what that might actually mean. As Macadamia and I were walking out, I heard him tell Scotty that he thought I was sexy and Scotty replied that I was, indeed, very beautiful. It was a much-needed confidence-boost.

I felt like a different person when I came back, if that makes sense. Not because of the bar or anything, but just because I was out, having fun, laughing and finding a good time. I know that every day is going to get easier, but there will also be set-backs. In particular, I'm not looking forward to the end of the month, all kinds of anniversaries are going to start coming up that will probably make me sad but I will deal with it the way I have dealt with everything else so far: by writing and talking to those who have helped me deal with everything so far. I will be okay.