What a Difference a Year Makes

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm big on the symbolism and signs and all that crap. It is honestly exhausting sometimes, but the OCD part of me simply doesn't allow me to stop recognizing these things. Everything means something; Coach touched nearly every aspect of my life and I can't help that but I know I can change how I associate things from here on out. On the other hand, I feel like I have to believe that everything means something, because if not, if there's no meaning to anything, then to me that is even more depressing.

Last night is a perfect example of this.

Former Roomie was in town and we haven't seen each other since my birthday in January. One of her friends was in town from Vegas so we met them at a bar, then F.R. and I went to Happy Hour and later got a text from her same friends that they were at my most favorite bar in town.

The same bar I met Coach at.

A year ago, yesterday.

Safe to say, I didn't really want to go. But I did, and I am glad, for a couple reasons. It also really sucked, again for a couple reasons.

First, the good:
1. The bar is always a good time.
2. It was our friend Cory's birthday, so there were lots of people I knew.
3. Bret left the karaoke set-up from Friday so we could have karaoke on Saturday too.

Now the bad:
1. Being at the very place where I'd met Coach a year ago to the day, not so fun at first.
2. Upon getting our first drink and sitting down, someone sang Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" - the first song Coach and I ever danced to, the first night we met. I just remember how sweet he was when he came over and asked for my hand, so it was kind of a gut-punch.

Really, it felt like the universe had to slap me in the face just one more time before I could have a good time. But once I got over the shock of wow, how is this possibly happening, we did have a lot of fun. It doesn't seem like something so significant could just be a coincidence, I just know what it's telling me, you know?

That's kind of what makes this all so exhausting, as I said before. I see these signs and the symbolism sometimes, the exhausting part is trying to figure out what the hell it all means.