(516): Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So does anyone actually 'date'? BFF tells me that people over the age of 25 do, and obviously has been a plethora of advice and information since the break-up, all in the hopes of avoiding this devastation again. Apparently people do date, and sometimes for the first month or two, they only see each other every 5-6 days. I guess that means I've never really dated, and that I don't know how. With Coach, we just started hanging out together, went on dates, and it evolved into a relationship even though neither of us expected it at first. The Supposed One and I were actually a Facebook-certified couple, PeteWentz and I weren't even Facebook friends, and Army Guy and I were together before Facebook existed beyond the Ivys.
Anyway, I must have given some thought to dating before, because I came across a notebook that had something interesting in it: a list of all the relationships/dates each character from FRIENDS had in the ten years the show was on the air. I know right, weird? But I was looking at it and realized that maybe this is what BFF is talking about - even though yes I realize it is just a television show (albeit the greatest show to ever air, or at least in the top three). So is this what dating is really supposed to look like?
| Monica | Joey | Chandler | Phoebe | Ross | Rachel |
| Paul the Wine Guy Alan Kevin Milmore Fun Bobby Coma Guy Howard “I win” Scotty Jarret Fireman Doctor Ethan Fun Bobby Jean Claude Richard Julio Richard Translator Guy Pete Chip Matthews Chandler | Andrea Angela Julie Angela Sandy Angela Delvecio Lorraine Ursula Melanie Annabelle Girl w/ Adam’s apple Girl #1 on bus Denise DeMarco Casting Director Erica Ford Movie Chick Shannon Cooper Stacy Roth Stacy’s Roomie Annie Esposito Annie’s sister Lauren Kate Bride’s maid Random girl Curly haired girl Katie Girl Girl’s roommate Janine Erin Kristin Dark-haired girl Hayley Hayley’s roomie Date “yuck” Smart girl Charlie Rachel Sarah Laura | Janice Aurora Janice Janice Nina Danielle Maureen Rizillo Joan Alison Jade Girl #2 on bus Suzy Moss Janice Joanna Joanna Kathy Janice Monica | Subway Guy Tony Divorced Guy David Coma Guy Roger Puppet Guy Dinner Guy Fireman Duncan Rob Dunnan Ryan (Navy) Malcom Guy Upstairs Robert Sergei Vince Jason Larry Gary Kenny Hums When He Pees Pigeon Guy David 3-day ago date Jake Tim Eric British Guy Cliff Parker Mike David Mike | Carol Kristin Celia Julie Rachel Chloe Kaitlyn Bonnie Rachel Amanda Cheryl Poughkeepsie Girl Uptown Girl Canada Girl Emily Elizabeth Hornswaggle Katlyn Hilary Jill Elizabeth Joan Kristin Mona Barcelona Girl Michelle Katie Charlie Joan Rachel | Barry Tony Dimarco Paolo Pete Carney Adam Fireman Doctor Barry Carol’s doctor Carl Paolo Michael Russ Jean Claude Casey Ross Tommy Ross Joshua Danny Sebastion Tag Gavin Joey Ross |
I know, maybe I had too much time on my hands (but to be fair, this is from a few years ago). Anyway, they go on dates, never see some of these people again, the end. I don't know, at least with Coach, we just wanted to see each other all the time, so we did. Maybe that wasn't a good idea, given how it ended, but if you like someone and want to get to know them better, shouldn't you hang out with them more? I'm not really good at being patient I suppose, so that's part of the problem. And maybe romcoms and have given me unrealistic expectations about dating. That's why I avoided them - until I started dating Army Guy and developed these annoying things called "feelings". Believe me, and as I'm sure my friends can attest to, life was much easier without them!
But the way I see it is people who date still have the potential of getting hurt because the whole idea of dating, for me, is to evolve that into a relationship that leads to the aisle and as that doesn't always happen you can end up suffering a whole heck of a lot. And who's to say what dating really means? Because look at some of the people on the list? Joey hooking up with a girl he's never going to see again is the pathway to dating? That's not the kind of date I'm looking for. That's the TFLN guy/girl's sort of date. And it's true. These days. for the most part, men ask girl's out to get some, end of story. (I'm not in a very man-friendly mood today.) Oh how I long for the dates of my university years where the guy took me to dinner and a movie and there wasn't even a kiss goodnight and it was all timid and nervousness. Now they don't even ask about taking you to dinner, formality of dates is completely lost on men. It's a drink here and back to his or your place. Boo on that. I'll stick to my chick flicks and singlehood.
ReplyDeleteOh and SUPER impressive FRIENDS characters dating/relationship list!
ReplyDeleteI agree that Joey's method is not the pathway to dating. However, everyone I included on the list were at least one date. I guess I don't feel like you can get hurt by dating, because you're not nearly as invested in someone, as I became invested in Coach. I mean, there was a good two week stretch even early on (in the first couple months) where I stayed there 12 of the 14 nights. Time like that did not help be stay distant, because we were constantly together. And when we weren't, we were always texting.
ReplyDeleteThinking about it, I have only ever actually been on one date with a guy my freshman year and I gladly never saw him again because I was not interested after making it through dinner. Otherwise, all the dates I have ever gone on have been with guys I'm actually dating.
I don't even know what made me make that list before, it was definitely a while ago. Too funny that I would find it at this time, with all this recent talk about dating, etc., huh? I don't know if it is completely accurate, or if I have forgotten any, I'm pretty sure I started from season one and just wrote down every time one of them went on a date or was in a relationship. Crazy, haha.
I guess it just depends on your definition of dating and dates, but we'll have to agree to disagree on the getting hurt thing, because I stick to my you can get hurt by dating position.
ReplyDeleteStill impressed. Maybe when I'm bored some day I'll make a list of some other thing from friends...something completely random, like all the different things that were on the Magna Doodle. =) You know what I want more than anything? Those hair things Phoebe wore. They were like these flower clips. I seem to specifically remember her wearing them in TOW Everyone Finds Out.
I realized my list in incomplete. I somehow left both Casey and Kathy off the list for Joey. Boo. And I totally know what clippy things you're talking about. I love the comments on the Magna Doodle, I always pause and try to read it if it's one I haven't seen or don't remember.
ReplyDeleteI guess I don't see how it is possible to get hurt by one date, there's nothing invested, you may not even know one another at all. As for dating, it is more possible, yes, because you're with one person, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as what can happen after a break-up.
Well one date no, probably not. But I'm not talking just one date and you were so there in lies are misunderstanding, perhaps? But also if we're talking Joey type dates I think someone can get hurt from that, again my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI REALLY wanna find those hair clippy's she wears!
Yes, I think that is where our misunderstanding came from. I guess we know not to go on dates with Joey because we know the kind of guy he is (except where Rachel is concerned of course) so we would not get hurt because we would not date him, but yes I suppose if he sweet-talks some chick in going home with him, she could get hurt. I also love that we debate relationships and dating base don the show :)
ReplyDeleteI have no idea where you'd even begin looking! If you ever find them, let me know!!